Urban vagina

While we're on the subject of bitches:

8. Bipolar

a common side effect of having a vagina.

she has some awful mood swings, its like she is bipolar.

Shopping

Looks like I just found my new coffee mug!

Local muslim prompts cheering over female dress comments

It's a rare day that I agree with a sand nigger, but the strong and pure words of Australia's Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali have prompted me thusly to congratulate him. In a poignant discussion regarding the dress standards of women, the Sheikh noted that "women who did not wear a hijab (head dress) were like "uncovered meat"", and that through these actions would be "attracting sexual assault". Bravo Sheikh, bravo. It is absolutely the fault of the woman for attracting sexual or verbal assault. Why? Because it is always a woman's fault.

How can a man be expected to control his sexual urges when they are orders of magnitude more powerful, and important, than those of woman? If I want to whip out my cock on sight of a beautiful woman, or feel the need to rub it up against the soft curve of her back while she walks by, how is this not my right as a man? Further more, taking a leaf out of Pakistani men, if my woman serves up my dinner cold, or is seen looking at another man, how is it not my right to to splash acid in her face? Granted this disciplinary measure may be a tad extreme if you still want to have sex with her, in which case the recently publicised waterboarding technique should be used. Yes yes, technically the Americans did charge a WWII Japanese solider with war crimes for using it, but it only adds to its potency for instilling a submissive personality.

The cleric and I however do disagree on one important point, I feel that a woman's honour can only be maintained by wearing as little clothing as possible, preferably none at all. How else can a man determine her sexual vitality, or "fuckability"?

I love the smell of wetness in the morning

Today's luscious tits and bits are brought to you by Keeley Hazell. Fornicate at will.

Homemade glory

The glory of my brethren is on display today, with some recently uncovered home footage. It will enrich your life.

Fucking Russians.

Fame at last!

After many months of effort I have finally reached blogging perfection; today Black Bile Box was inaugurated into Urban Dictionary. Thumbs Up me mother fuckers!

Sicky

I seem to have contracted a case of Severe Acute Bubonic Creutzfeldt-Jakob Respitory Plague Syndrome.

Fuck you Jesus!

Numerology Bullshit

In amongst the usual shit of past-midnight commercials this evening was a rather interesting new contender. This latest scheme to suck your wallet dry supposedly determines your "match rating" with someone by determining the numerology fit of your fucking names. At first I thought, if I was dating some random bitch and she decided to end things because our match rating wasn't high enough, I'd sue the fucking company. But then I realised, if the bitch is stupid enough to waste her money on that shit, she deserves to have her cheek broken; the perfect excuse.

Whining 9/11 families

Apparently a few previously undiscovered bodies at the world trade centre have just surfaced, and the familes are cracking a right shit about it. I think they need to shut the hell up lest they embolden our enemy. What these families need to remember is that the terrorists only killed around 2,900 civilians on September 11; we've done a far better job killing over 600,000 Iraqi's since our invasion. Shit, Saddam could only manage 300,000 while in power for the last two decades. These families need to consider the ramifications of their querulous behaviour; we don't want anything to diminish our standing as the absolute leaders in civilian massacring.

Praise Jesus!

"Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves" Thank Christ, some might say. Not me though, terrible shame. The world needs more radicals, they're just so pliable.

"Genuine alarm can be heard from Christian teenagers and youth pastors, who say they cannot compete against a pervasive culture of cynicism about religion, and the casual “hooking up” approach to sex so pervasive on MTV, on Web sites for teenagers and in hip-hop, rap and rock music." Here's that TV, it's all your fault! You and that nigger music! Unlike the church though, I take a strong stance in support of "hooking up". I believe this practice encourages our youth to adopt a healthy, promiscuous adult lifestyle.

It's all about the progeny

Don't you love old action movies where the hero inseminates the female before going off to a battle to the death?

A loving hand

The degeneration of Western society into a morass of depravity, infidelity, insolence and sloth can be attributed to two things, feminism and a lack of childhood discipline. The UN has released a report which examines child abuse throughout the world, claiming it is both widespread and often socially acceptable. To those nations targeted by the report, let me be the first to say congratulations. A nation's mettle is proven not just on the battlefield but in the home. By ensuring order and discipline is adhered to, women and children have a structured environment by which their place in society is assured.

From the report "six million children have been forced into work and many more have become prostitutes." This is a good thing, be it working in a coal mine, carrying a rifle or sewing wallets for Western markets, these jobs teach 5 year olds essential life skills, and provides a boon for the economy. As for prostitution, well lads, if you don't ask for their age it can't be a crime.

While I disagree with much of the report there is one statement I support "This is the moment to recognise children as ... mini-human beings ... the property of their families". Damn straight UN, damn straight.

Vernacular of the wretched masses

KTHXBAI. If only more "leet"-speakers would be so kind as to off themselves. Perhaps we should just track down every single user of gaming forums, jam sticks of chalk into their orifices and beat them with a blackboard duster. Ah, just like the good old days back in elementary.

Young men left mentally scarred

"This was a nightmare I lived through." No, this is not the statement of a mother who watched her small child die of cancer. It's by Tara Reid, famous for one of the world's worst - titty - jobs.

"Guys I was dating would be like, 'What's wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.' So embarrassing, I mean, you definitely had to turn off the lights." What's wrong with them? I think the bigger question is, what the fuck is so wrong with these guys that they would be in bed with a dried up piece of peroxided leather like Tara? Jesus. Paper bag? No, she's the reason full-body garbage bags were invented; just locate the hole and off you go. Bag and tag.

One less commie bitch

I can't understand why the West is making such a big deal about the politically-motivated death of Russian reporter Anna Politkovskaya. It's a double win, one less commie and one less international reporter critical of torture! Naturally I support the state-sanctioned killing of reporters critical of torture carried out by Western states; an accidental bombing here, a mistaken sniper there, where's the harm in that? But, I am a little disappointed that we can no longer use her work as an ideological human rights beating stick against Russia on the world stage, because as a Great Man once said Communist Russia is "a state that has brought inconceivable misery to millions and desired to bring the same misery to the entire world."

Naturally I'm surprised that the Russians have even noticed her death; like the Great Man said "the masses of illiterate Russians were not fired to Communist revolutionary enthusiasm by reading the theories of Karl Marx but by the promises of paradise made to the people by thousands of agitators in the service of an idea." Just like those illiterate suicide-bombing sand niggers over in the Middle East, Russians can't even read and are easily led astray by phantasmagorical dreams of glory and righteousness. All we need now is another Afghanistan; let's stir up some geopolitical unrest so as to give both our enemies a chance to kill themselves. We can arm up those camel cunts and then send them off to kill the Russians; it's just a shame we've already pissed off bin Laden, he was so helpful against them last time .

Good Times

I met a really nice girl tonight, sweet, pretty and we had a lot in common. Hopefully she'll let me cum in her ass.

Alyssa Milano's titties

Milano doesn't normally make my cock swell with blood, however this 3 minute lesbian scene in which she gets her tits out for the whole thing and felt up sure did. So hot was it that I'm going to go masturbate now. Seriously.

Yellow wisdom meets Aryan science

Earlier this week I was mulling over the wisdom of Confucius; even for a 2,500 year old Chinaman he had some forward thinking ideas. As my friend Methusael remarked "I'm all for equality, but the suggestion that women are somehow equal to men is absurd. I just see them as semen receptacles." I couldn't agree more, and now the magic of science backs up what men the world over have known to be true all along, that women are intellectually inferior. There's a reason that women have always cleaned the floors, changed the nappies, looked after the kids, cooked the dinner, and given oral sex upon request: it's because that's all their feeble minds are capable of doing. After all, Eve came from Adam, she's just a low quality immoral knock-off of the real deal; the image of God.

High growth return investment

I just developed an erection in under 5 seconds.

My penis is frowning

I'd just like to say that www.strokesafe.com.au is flagrant false advertising.

Slow moving player

This guy knows how to treat a woman. I'd have to say it's a technique I haven't used before, at least in that variant. Looks like some young lady is going to get lucky this weekend!

A fundamental incompleteness

Hahaha, this clip made /me laugh. Reminds me of badger phone, bastard child of the original banana phone and badger badger badger badger.