Hello 2010

You've accomplished nothing.

Think of everything we've accomplished

It's 2009. Let yourselves cry.

Don't forget my lunch

A new study is reporting that women become more forgetful during pregnancy, a condition called 'baby brain'. This study is wrong. A woman's memory isn't impaired because she is pregnant, but because she is a woman.

A German exchange

The other day I hit up a sexy German exchange student. She spoke for a while while I pretended to listen. I must have nodded at the appropriate places as she said she felt some sort of "connection" between us. There's only one connection I'm interested in feeling, I'll be taking the deep and leaving the meaningful at home.

Do It

Jasper says you have to start watching Californication on Channel 10, Mondays. You'd better do what he says.

The son I never had

The little things

I like subscribing to mailing lists using rude or obnoxious titles. That way when I start receiving their shitty image-laden mail with the chirpy opening "Hello Dickface!" I get to write a long winded diatribe complaining of their abuse of customers, blaming the renaming on some disgruntled employee.