Thursday, August 24, 2006

A sensitive cock

There are all together too many homosexuals in this world. Once upon a time the world knew what to do with these men. While I can't openly endorse sterilisation, there are other publicly acceptable alternatives; my favorite of these is "deprogramming." One of the great men spearheading this campaign is Richard Cohen, from his own web site: Cohen is "an expert in sexual reorientation therapy - both as a counselor and through his own personal experience transitioning from a homosexual to a heterosexual orientation in the 1980's." Here's a man who's not afraid to stand up and proclaim "I was once a turd burglar, a marmite miner, an ass pirate; but today I'm a happy and well adjusted male in a fulfilling heterosexual relationship with a Korean woman who doesn't at all look like a man." Bravo Richard.

I particularly love this quote by Richard "there are numerous causes of SSA [Same Sex Attraction], for example: lack of bonding with same-sex parent, over attachment with opposite-sex parent, same-sex peer wounds, hypersensitivity and sexual abuse." You hear that women, it's all your fault. It's like I've been saying all along, women are the reason we have so many gay men in this world; if there weren't any women, there wouldn't be any reason to be gay.

I for one am hoping that medical science proves the existence of a "gay gene". With rapid identification, a deprogramming regime can then be integrated into schools, preferrably following religious services to produce a double shame whammy. In time, parents will then have the option of gene shopping, where they can, God willing, "switch off the gay."

Now some of you may argue that homosexuality is just part of nature, that many species partake in it. Well I'm here to tell you God-haters that we are not animals. 6000 years ago man was created from a pile of dust; never mind that we share 98.4% of DNA with chimpanzees, a species that also participates in homosexulaity, 98.4% isn't 100%!

So remember men, if you've ever been in an embarrasing situation where you've become aroused by another man's genetalia, be it in the shower, the school locker room, or the latest glossy edition of the hardcore "Latin Inches" magazine, you too can seek help. Together we can one day rid the world of this terrbile affliction, one cock at a time.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck that shit!!! You said "if there weren't any women, there wouldn't be any reason to be gay." If there weren't any women guys would have to be gay cause they would need someone to be affectionate with. How do you back up all your reasoning!?? Fuck you!!!

8/26/2006 8:12 am  
Blogger Jasper said...

Expletives anonymous, please. I do expect my impassioned readers to show a little decorum; by the way I love that nick.

"if there weren't any women, there wouldn't be any reason to be gay."

I fail to see why you have taken issue with this anon. If there weren't any women then there wouldn't be any reason to lead a licentious existence (4). Women lead us into temptation and immorality, anon; they are the root of all that is corrupt and unjust in this world.

Further, what is all this talk of affection? Real men do not require intimacy; a few months in solitary confinement will teach you that.

8/26/2006 7:46 pm  
Blogger kryz said...

On the back of a wickedcamper in the valley on Saturday morning

"Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Too many faggots!"

8/27/2006 5:57 pm  

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