Party games from the dead

Q) What's coated in candy and wrapped in cellophane? A) Drunk!

You know what's better than sex in your office? Sex in somebody else's office.

Execution

Assange is a threat to fascism everywhere, he must be executed.

I'm like a chocolate cake full of semen; chocolate on the outside, semen in the middle.

Tunes of the heart

I think I'll load some inspirational music onto my ipenis and work out

Applesauce

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. Then I realise, absolutely nothing, and I get back to work.

What the fuck are you looking at cunt?

delectatio morosa

I don't remember who your mother is, but I'm your dad. Each and every one of you.