Conversations with Methusael

<Jasper> I plan to go to the doctor tomorrow
<Methusael> Why's that? You unwell?
<Jasper> I've been coughing quite a bit since i got back from overseas, phlegmy.
<Methusael> Tubercolosis, my friend.
<Jasper> I'm sure it's late-stage
<Jasper> So I wiki'd it
<Methusael> Wikipedia ... for all your medical diagnosis needs.
<Jasper> Yeah, if only I had a panicy news report to back up my worries
<Jasper> Maybe I should go and engage in sexual intercourse with men
<Jasper> and monkeys
<Jasper> try and pick up syphilis and mutant aids
<Jasper> and top it off with raw chicken from Asia for a case of bird flu
<Jasper> then have sex with every woman in my city
<Methusael> It would almost be worth it.
<Methusael> Just for the stirring yarns you could tell your kids.
<Methusael> And I'm assuming you could father QUITE A FEW.
<Methusael> You'd be dead before they could understand your stories, but that hardly matters.
<Jasper> I'd write them all letters
<Jasper> to be delivered at some exact moment in the future
<Jasper> at some exact place
<Jasper> with their exact name
<Jasper> and sign it from Doc.